What Matters Most
by bearhead
Summary: "Don't do this to me Daryl. Not after everything we've been through!" Carol ignored the crack of desperation in her voice, focusing instead on trying to make eye contact with the man in front of her. Daryl continued staring at the ground, his long hair covering his eyes and the expression she so desperately needed to see. She needed to get a read on him, but he was shutting down.


**So I was sent this on tumblr by rhinozilla: "You've been Levity Bomb-ed! Describe how you envision Caryl's first kiss will happen or did happen if you headcanon that it has already. Make sure to tag Caryl and Operation Levity so everybody else gets the feels too. Caryl on!" **  
><strong>I meant to write a short drabble...then this happened. <strong>

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Terminus had been chaos. The twenty minutes the battle took felt like hours, the explosions and gun shots seemed like they would never end. But eventually their ear splitting sounds faded into the night as the dust slowly settled around them.<p>

She heard his voice as it cut through the ringing in her ears. Head turning instinctively, she sought him out through the hazy smoke. The glimpse she caught of him was nowhere near enough to satisfy her, but it was enough to ensure her that he was alive, and she instantly felt like she could breathe easier, despite the think dirt clogging the air.

As much as she wanted to run after him, she didn't know how to handle the situation. Carol had no idea what Rick had said to everyone, she was terrified her appearance would be faced with rejection. She didn't think she could handle that right now, not from him.

So she would wait, she would prepare for the worst, and when the time came she would face them head on.

But right now they had work to do.

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><p>It took hours to clean up the mess they made, it wasn't until the bodies were disposed of, and the wreckage cleared that the group finally took a minute to sit down.<p>

That didn't mean anyone was relaxed though. The air around the campfire was tense at best. Daryl's return broke the silence, silently handing off his kills to Carl to be cleaned, before quickly retreating to the fences.

Carol stood up with a sigh. She knew her issue needed to be addressed, but no one was doing anything other than staring at her at the moment, and she needed to talk to Daryl, needed to hear his thoughts first. As much as she hated to admit it, his opinion mattered most, if he couldn't accept her, she could never stay.

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><p>Her hands shook as she approached him, so she clenched them into fists, silently hoping she was not coming off as weak as she suddenly felt.<p>

Daryl didn't turn as she approached, but there was no doubt he knew she was there.

"Daryl" she whispered, hating how loud it seemed in the silence.

The breath he took at her words was audible, but that was the only acknowledgment he gave.

"Daryl, please look at me."

Frustrated by his silence Carol forced herself in his space, stepping between him and the fence, their bodies dangerously close.

Daryl gave a hurried step back, watching his boots as he did so. The space he put between them was unnecessarily large, and it hurt her more than she'd care to admit.

"Don't do this to me Daryl. Not after everything we've been through" Carol ignored the crack of desperation in her voice, focusing instead on trying to make eye contact with the man in front of her.

Daryl continued staring down at the ground, his long hair covering his eyes and the expression Carol so desperately needed to see. She needed to get a read on him, but he was shutting her out just like he used to.

"Daryl I'm so sorry!" she began, realizing it was up to her to explain it all. "I don't know what Rick has said, but I killed them Daryl, it was me! It was wrong, it was stupid, but I did it. I thought maybe if I killed them, I could stop the disease from spreading. I thought maybe doing this, will keep everybody else safe. But I was wrong, I failed! I murdered two people and my family was still in danger!

The half sob that followed didn't take her by surprise in the least; she had run out of fight, it was all up to him now.

"I missed you" she whispered, one last try to get through to him before the tears started rolling down her cheeks.

His head whipped up immediately, heated, angry blue eyes fixed in a glare clashed with hers.

"You missed me? You fucking missed me? Well ain't that sweet of you to say after you fucking left me!" A snarl ripped out of Daryl's mouth as he started pacing violently, his hands flying up to tangle in his hair.

"I don't care that you killed them Carol" his eyes met hers as he forced his feet to stop. He took a step closer. "I don't care that you failed. You was looking out for the group, you ain't a murderer, your a fucking protector. So I don't care about that, worse things have happened!" Carol jumped slightly as Daryl's hand flew up in an accusing point, his gaze angry and unwavering.

"But you fucking didn't tell me Carol. I had to hear from Rick that you were gone, that you were a homicidal asshole who killed without a fuck to give, and I had to stand there and listen as he told me you ain't coming back" His gaze dropped momentarily to his feet, but Carol could tell he wasn't done.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?" he almost begged, his voice sounding increasingly desperate as the anger drained out of him. "I could have done something. I could have done something!" The yell reverberated through her, but for some reason she knew it wasn't directed at her, and suddenly it clicked. The tidbits she had heard from Glenn and the others about the governor, and Hershel, the destruction of the prison, and the chaos afterwards. Everything fell into place. He felt useless. He felt like he failed them. Like he failed her.

"Daryl no! This isn't your fault! None of this is your fault! I should have told you Daryl, I know I should have. But I was so scared you were going to hate me. I was terrified you would be disgusted with me, and I wouldn't have been able to handle that."

"How the fuck could you possibly think that woman?" he demanded, arms flying in confusion as he took another step closer to her. "How the fuck, after all this time, can you possibly think anything you do will make me hate you. When the fuck are you going to understand that nothing in my fucked up life ever has or ever will mean more to me than you!" he paused, taking a deep breath to calm him down. "I fucking love you woman."

Carol couldn't think, but she quickly realized she didn't need to. For the first time in her life, she didn't need to think this through, the answer was so obvious, her body acted upon it naturally.

She took a step, cautiously bringing herself closer to him. His body snapped upright, back rigid, hands clenched in fists at his sides. She tried to ignore how tense he was, she could feel him watching her as she took another step closer, leaving hardly any room between them.

He always watched her, she knew he always had, but this felt different. His eyes followed her, full of fear and apprehension. She stared right back for a few seconds, trying to calm him down, before flicking her gaze to his lips and back, her message instantly conveyed.

His breathing kicked up noticeably, mouth party ever so slightly, but the rest of him stayed perfectly still. She leaned in slowly, her eyes fluttering shut, but she knew his were still open, following her every move.

She pressed her lips against his lightly, sighing softly at the sensation. His lips remained unresponsive, pliant under hers, so she pushed a little harder, made her lips a little firmer until she felt him respond ever so slightly. The tiniest return of pressure from him but it was enough, she knew she had done the right thing.

She pulled away just enough so that his face came into focus, his eyes were on hers like they had never left.

"Daryl?" she whispered into the silence.

"Hmm?" he responded, she felt the low grumble more so than she heard it

"I love you too."

Carol's breath caught in her throat at the grin that immediately broke out across his face. She had never seen anything so beautiful in her life, and it pained her when he ducked it out of her view in embarrassment.

"Yeah?" he asked, risking a glance back up, his grin still transforming his face.

"Yeah" she laughed, feeling the tears that escaped with it.

His lips on hers were a welcome surprise, she relished the feeling, winding her arms around his neck, digging her fingers into his hair. She sighed into his mouth as his strong arms wrapped around her waist, gladly granting him entrance as his tongue shyly nudged her lips.

She didn't know what the group would decide, but she knew it didn't matter. She would never leave him, and he would never let her. They would face this world on their own if they had to.

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><p><strong>Lemme know what you think and Caryl on!<strong>

**~bearhead**


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